Transparent and Unedited: Truths about the Journey

If you read my blogs, you are basically reading what's on my heart.  You are reading the simple things God is teaching me in my personal Bible study.  They aren't revelatory or eloquent, mostly they are just ordinary things shown to an ordinary mom from an EXTRAORDINARY God.  Lately I've been struggling with whether or not to share what's on my heart.  I have decided to share it so that it may help others even though it is so very honest and transparent.  I've been a pastor's daughter or a pastor's wife my whole life and by just having those titles or just by leading in ministry, people assume I don't struggle spiritually.  Ministry doesn't necessarily make spiritual growth easy.

So I find myself in a place that is often more difficult than even a trial.  For about 2 weeks now, I have not had an "aha" moment when studying Scriptures.  I have not had any emotional stirring or felt really moved spiritually.  I guess it's what you call a "season of dryness".  I daily read and study God's Word with anticipation to hear from Him, but all has been quiet for a short time.  I tell you this because I KNOW that many of you have been in this same place and maybe you are there now.  It's a crossroads or a turning point where we all come to and we have a decision to make.  Keep spending time in fellowship with God through study and prayer or simply walk away and be done with it?

This reminds me of a passage in Scripture. (Numbers 9:16-23)  The Israelites who had been rescued by God from slavery now journeyed to the Promised land.  Here was the catch though, they could only move when God moved and they waited when He was still.  I LOVE Numbers 9:19!!!!! "Even when the cloud continued long, many days above the tabernacle, the children of Israel kept the charge of the LORD and did not journey."  I wonder if during those "many days" if they felt like quitting or going back to Egypt.  With further study, we see many times the Israelites didn't like their situation and they often complained that they would rather be slaves than be in their current position.  You see, how ridiculous it was for them ever want to give up? If they could hold out God was going to bring them to a place more wonderful than they could ever imagine!

So the application to this passage is that when I find myself, or you find yourself in a place of quiet or a place where the "cloud continues long" it is NOT a time to throw in the towel.  Keep spending time with the Savior, keep studying, keep praying and God will bring you too that sweet place of refreshment and renewal!  I liken it to my marriage relationship.  My husband, Jeremy, and I have banner days and battling days, but I would NEVER walk away from him on a battling day because I know that a banner day is around the corner!  After all Jesus Christ gave His life for me, what does he owe ME?! Nothing, I owe Him everything, even when it isn't easy! Let me encourage you to keep on keeping on!